Redemption From The Darkest Depths
by Neon Star
Summary: Qui-gon turns to the dark side after Obi-wan is killed. Xanatos comes to save him?
1. Qui-gon's POV

Disclaimer: Star Wars, Qui-gon, Obi-wan, Xanatos and everything else in SW belongs to the mighty George Lucas and if I made any money off this, he would probably send his lawyers to murder me. As to archiving this, ask my permission first.  
  
Redemption from the Darkest Depths  
  
Qui-gon's POV  
  
First part  
  
I stood there complementing the past. Where has my path taken me? Down a road that I did not want to go at the beginning. Strange how love can drive a person to the dark side. I know he would never have let me fall, but he isn't here, is he? Sigh. My life was torn from me, all because one person hated me. Why couldn't he have killed me instead of Obi-wan! Why couldn't he have killed me after he killed Obi-wan. Now I will never forget that look in Obi-wan's eyes as his life faded. All because of me. I have failed two Padawans and myself.  
  
"Lord Harkin?" a voice called behind me.  
  
"Yes?" I asked, not turning around.  
  
Harkin, how appropriate. That is pure irony. When Obi-wan died, Qui-gon Jinn and his faith in the Jedi died with it. Harkin was born in the blood that had flowed from Obi-wan. The name means dark red, just as Obi-wan's blood had been. Just as mine had been.  
  
"We are approaching the planet. What would you have us do when we get there?" the young officer asked me.  
  
"Send out the assassins, I don't want any of those monsters left alive, understood?" I snapped.  
  
"Yes, sir," the young man said and left.  
  
Now I would get my revenge and destroy those who killed Obi-wan. The Jedi would not help me, but I had pulled an army together that could rival the Republic's. I would destroy those monsters, and then it was on to the next target, until everyone that had any part in it was dead. Then the Jedi would be destroyed and the Dark Jedi will take their place. I shall see to that. Once I might have actually cared what happened to the people, but now it doesn't matter. My heart was replaced by this cold but confident stone. Obi-wan would yell and cry against these actions, but I have seen what evil does to good. Now its time that the evil got its own taste of fear and pain.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
We destroyed those monsters easily. Now we continue on our way to the next target. How could I have denied myself this power? Xanatos was right in so many ways. I wonder where he is at this moment? Probably hiding on some backwater world. I don't care.  
  
I had gone back to my quarters to meditate. My feelings were troubling me again. I wish the nightmares would leave me. I know I must confront them, and now is better then later.  
  
I sat down and crossed my legs. I pulled my senses inward and they  
  
went strait for that image.  
  
We had been on a mission when an enemy had kidnapped us. For days they tortured us both, always-in sight of the other to double the pain. Then the Jedi had come and found us. The enemies knew that they had to kill us off quickly and leave. They started with Obi-wan. They stabbed him again and again with that same cruel blade. It sank into his young beaten flesh easily and drew blood. Obi-wan was too weak to fight them. When they were certain he was almost dead, they turned to me. I struggled against them, only wishing to be with my Padawan. The blood-stained dagger bit into me as well. First in the shoulder, then the right leg, then the neck. They then dropped me as well and ran. I had crawled to Obi-wan and cradled him in my arms. I couldn't speak or hardly breathe. Obi-wan looked at me with pain filled eyes.  
  
"Mmmmassster, it hurts," he whispered.  
  
//I know, Padawan,// I said softly through our bond.  
  
"Make it stop," he pleaded.  
  
His life was waning rapidly. I reached out and tried to keep the pain at bay from Obi-wan. He relaxed slightly and sighed.  
  
"Its all right, Master," he whispered as he brushed a tear from my bloody cheek.  
  
I knew he wouldn't live and so did he. But he still cared about me.  
  
//Rest, Obi-wan,// I sent.  
  
He nodded and his glazed eyes closed. His breathing slowed then stopped. I knew he had gone on into the Force. I cried and clutched at his lifeless body. A fire lit into me then, a fire of vengeance. It steadily grew as the Jedi failed to find the murderers. I had barely survived and at times I wish I hadn't. But I had a purpose. I was going to take care of those monsters once and for all and rid this galaxy of the Jedi as well. The irony is amazing. The great Jedi Master from their order has fallen and now destroys them in one stroke. How ironic, how dark.  
  
"You are right, Qui-gon, it is very ironic. Just like it is ironic that you now seem to be on the same dark road that I am on," a voice said from the shadows and he stepped into view.  
  
"Xanatos," I said as I stood. 


	2. Xanatos' POV

Xanatos's POV  
  
Part Two  
  
I stepped from the shadows as I felt his emotions and memories.  
  
Qui-gon has never cut the bond between us nor have I. I think it isn't just a habit of having it there. I don't want to think that it might be something deeper. The only reason I had heard him was that he had left himself completely open. Understandable, since he thinks that I am off on some backwater world. Obi-wan is dead and Julia is too far away to hear him and so is his former Master, Yoda.  
  
"Xanatos," he said as he stood.  
  
"Where is the warrior that told me that the dark side was wrong and dangerous? Who told me that I would bring my own destruction if I followed it?" I asked mockingly.  
  
"That man died," he said.  
  
"Really, now it's Harkin, right? Well, my dear former Master, I won't call you by that name," I said.  
  
"How did you get in here?" he asked.  
  
"Your security is a disgrace, Qui-gon. A bantha could have trampled in here and killed you before they knew anything. Now back to you," I said.  
  
"You know about me. What are you doing here?" he asked.  
  
"You know, black suits you. Brown is so dull," I commented.  
  
"Xanatos," he growled.  
  
I lowered my eyelids until my eyes were slits.  
  
"If you must know. I wanted to find out if the rumors are true. If you really turned or not," I said.  
  
"Well, I have," Qui-gon said and turned away from me.  
  
"What would Obi-wan say?" I asked.  
  
He turned back toward me and I could feel the anger flowing from him. His hand was on his lightsaber.  
  
"He is dead, Xanatos, what does he have to do about this?" he growled.  
  
"Oh, let me see. His death caused your fall to the dark side. He would have died to keep you from it. Kind of dishonoring his memory aren't you?" I asked sharply.  
  
"I am avenging his death!" he roared.  
  
"You are destroying what he stood for," I countered.  
  
He pulled out his lightsaber and ignited it. The blood red blade was inches from my neck.  
  
"What did you say?" he snarled.  
  
"You heard me," I said calmly.  
  
He glared at me for a few moments then shut the lightsaber down. He turned away and sighed.  
  
"I thought you would be celebrating the thought of me falling," he said harshly.  
  
"No, I want to destroy you, Qui-gon, I don't want you on my side of the Force. Its bad enough that one of us is in this dark nightmare," I said softly.  
  
I would never tell him that he was my last anchor to the light. I would never tell him that somewhere inside, I still cared for him as a Father. I would never tell him that I had always thought of him as infallible and in some small corner of my soul I wanted to be like him only to know that the path has been bared from me.  
  
"Get out," he said quietly.  
  
"I will not follow your orders. Though I will leave for a while, I will still be on this ship, though I doubt you could find me. Maybe you should think about what I said," I said and left the room.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 


	3. Qui-gon's POV

Qui-gon's POV  
  
Part Three  
  
I slammed my fist down onto the desk beside me. How dare he! What right had he to come in here and lecture me! Especially when he is on the same path that I am on.  
  
"Its bad enough that one of us is in this dark nightmare," he had said.  
  
What had he meant by that? The dark side was power to do as you will. What nightmare?  
  
I pushed the thought from me, but another thought filled its place.  
  
"You are destroying what he stood for," he had said.  
  
Anger and rage filled me. Obi-wan did not stand for cutthroats that killed innocent children! Obi-wan did not stand for that dark place and torture. No, Obi-wan stood for life and the Jedi!  
  
I brought out my lightsaber and cleaved the desk in half. I then continued to slice it apart until my rage started to falter. I shut off my lightsaber and noticed that the desk was nothing more then a blackened heap at my feet.  
  
It did not matter what Obi-wan stood for. He has joined the Force  
  
and now I must do what I feel is right.  
  
I want Xanatos off the ship. I don't want to relive any more memories. Why couldn't he have disappeared or gone back to Telos. Why couldn't he stay away from me and let me do what I have to do! I would tear the ship apart and I will find him!  
  
"Master Harkin?" the officer asked softly as he stepped in.  
  
I can feel the fear radiating from him and that calms me slightly. I am pleased that I am a man to be feared.  
  
"What?" I asked.  
  
"We seem to have an intruder on the ship," the officer said.  
  
"I know," I snapped, "I want him found."  
  
"Yes, Master, what do we do with him after we find him?" the officer asked.  
  
"Kill him or eject him. I don't care, I just want him gone," I growled.  
  
The officer bowed and quickly left.  
  
I went to another desk and looked down at the map. We were almost through. Two more missions, then we would attack the Jedi Temple. Yes, everything was going exactly as planned.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I walked onto the bridge. Our next target was out in front of us. The planet looked harmless, but it held the murderers. Many people will be hurt or killed besides the murderers, but oh well. Life means nothing to me now. The assassins are all ready on the planet. They are the best I could find. But even with steel like minds, they can be manipulated. I smiled darkly at the thought. Nothing could spoil this. The last target would be where the man that had personally driven that dagger into Obi-wan and myself would be. I would personally kill him.  
  
Xanatos has not been found yet. He was right when he said I wouldn't find him. It is unnerving to know he is out there, just waiting to torment me again. But I will not let it get to me. I can't afford anything to get to me. But it so hard to not think of him. He and Obi-wan were opposite of each other, complete opposites. Why did he care what I did? He has wanted to destroy me, why does he care if I have fallen? Sith him. Why won't he leave me alone?  
  
I turn to go to my room to prepare. We will soon leave for the last target. Then Coruscant will be mine.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Qui-gon! Help me! Please, Master! Don't give up! Don't give into  
  
the dark side!" Obi-wan screamed.  
  
I reached out my hand to grasp his bloody one. But it is slippery and I lose my grip. He falls into the darkness.  
  
"Master!" his scream echoed through my mind, jolting me awake.  
  
I could feel the sweat on my skin and scorned myself for being too sensitive.  
  
I heard a noise in the darkness and could barely make out the shape.  
  
"Nightmare?" he asked.  
  
"Get out, Xanatos," I snapped.  
  
"You dreamt of Obi-wan, didn't you? You screamed his name. I caught a small trace of it," he said, ignoring me.  
  
"Why do you torment me?" I muttered.  
  
"Because, I am trying to redeem you," he said.  
  
"Why?" I asked.  
  
"You were not meant to walk this wretched path, Qui-gon. You were not meant to..." he stopped for a moment and I saw pain flood his eyes.  
  
Pure pain like I have rarely seen him display. A small part of me wants to comfort him as I had when he was a boy, but my stronger half resisted and crushed the other half.  
  
"Just honor the boy and turn away from it now," he whispered.  
  
"No, I will avenge Obi-wan," I growled.  
  
"You have truly fallen. I thought I could count on you," he sighed.  
  
"What do you mean?" I asked.  
  
"I might as well tell you. Obi-wan is alive," he said softly.  
  
"You're lying," I roared.  
  
"No, I am not," he said coolly. 


	4. Xanatos' POV

Xanatos's POV   
Part four  
  
I could feel the anger burning around him. He did not believe me and I didn't expect him to. I waited, watching his every move.  
  
"How? I watched him die," Qui-gon said softly, the dark side receding in his sadness for the moment.  
  
"You thought you watched him die. But in fact, he was given a poison that would slowly kill him off, first destroying any bond he had to anyone, even you, then it slowed the heart and lungs, then after a few hours of a near death, he would just die. When you passed out from the blood loss, they grabbed Obi-wan and were going to use him to pawn their way out. It didn't work, so they ran. The ones who survived threw Obi-wan into an abandoned building and left him there to die. His life force was too weak to really detect any way. I was on the same planet at the time and I stumbled upon the near dead boy. I thought I could use him against you and took him to a private medical center of mine. He has been with me for the last three months, in and out of a coma," I said and paused.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me in the first place?" he snapped and I could see his hand move to his lightsaber, "And how do I know you are telling the truth?"  
  
"What proof could I give you? This?" I asked and pulled the lightsaber out of my robe.  
  
Qui-gon took it from me and let out a little gasp.  
  
"Its Obi-wan's lightsaber," he said softly.  
  
"Yes, they abandoned it with him," I said.  
  
"You could have just picked it up to fool me into a trap and left Obi-wan there to die," he commented.  
  
"But I didn't," I said.  
  
I wouldn't tell Qui-gon how his Padawan had changed me. Strange, I was going to use the boy as a pawn and yet he made me start to doubt what I did. Now I am only hoping to find some small way to make up for what I have done, though I am forever locked away from the light. It hurts, but I will have to live with it.  
  
"Now, to the reason why I didn't tell you," I said, continuing, "Its because you have fallen and it may destroy the boy. I won't allow that to happen. But maybe his presence can redeem you," I suggested.  
  
*Like he helped me,* I thought silently to myself. 


	5. Qui-gon's POV

Qui-gon's POV  
Part five  
  
The news hits me hard. I can't believe it, I won't believe it! Obi-wan alive! I would have felt it, wouldn't I?  
  
Doubt creped into my mind. Have I been so blinded that I didn't feel it? No, I would have felt it.  
  
"I don't need redemption," I growled.  
  
"Everyone needs redemption, especially the cruel twisted sadistic creatures like us," Xanatos said softly.  
  
What had changed him so? He had once been cool and calculating. He had no care for life, only for power.   
  
"I can't trust you," I said.  
  
"I don't expect you to. But come with me, for the boy's sake if nothing else. Or do you not have a heart left in you, Qui-gon?" he asked.  
  
I looked at him. He shows so much pain. To think, I have only seen him show true emotional pain was when she died. I thought silently, turning my thoughts from that time. Even though she had been his reason.   
  
I could not trust him but what if he was telling the truth? I could feel no lie from him, but Xanatos had always been able to hide the truth when he wanted to. I finally made up my mind.  
  
"All right, Xanatos, but we will be taking my shuttle," I said.  
  
"Agreed," he said.  
  
I nodded and switched on the comm at my desk.  
  
"Yes, Lord Harkin?" the officer said.  
  
"I will be leaving for a little while, Officer Doran. Return the fleet to base and wait for my orders," I said.  
  
"Of course, Master," the officer said and the comm shut off.  
  
"Come," I told Xanatos and led him to my personal vessel.  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
We avoided each other as much as possible on the way to his small base. Nether of us wanted to talk about anything, because everything reminded both of us of our pasts. I clung to the dark side for power, but lately it has been failing me. I do not know why, maybe it is because my emotions are in turmoil. What if Obi-wan is alive?   
  
We arrived there five standard days after we left my fleet. That was when Xanatos finally broke the silence.  
  
"I must warn you. He is still in bad shape. We couldn't repair everything," he said.  
  
"What do you mean in bad shape?" I asked.  
  
"I can't explain, you are just going to have to see for yourself," he sighed.  
  
We landed and he led me to the medical part of the base. We met few people along the way and they kept their heads down. We entered the Healers ward and stopped at a door.  
  
"Brace yourself," he said and opened the door. 


	6. Obi-wan's POV

Thanks for the reveiews! Sorry I didn't get this to you sooner, as I was banned.  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Obi-wan's POV  
Part six  
  
Master is finally here; I can sense it through my slowly returning Force sense. Even with the broken bond between us, I can feel him, like I can still feel my non-existing right hand. Xanatos had promised to bring him back and he did. I opened my eyes and smiled at him. My vision is blurry, but I can see him. It hurts to open my eyes but I have all ready gotten used to it. Pain, emotional as well as physical, has been etched into his face. I wish I could erase the lines and pain I see there. But something is terribly wrong. My Master's sense is dark and cold. It hits me like a dagger. My Master has fallen to the dark side, because of me. My heart shatters. Tears flood my eyes. I first raise my right arm slightly but switched it quickly to my left and reached out to him.  
  
"Master," I whispered.  
  
Xanatos and the Healers told me I may never be able to gain my voice again, that I would be whispering for the rest of my life, because my vocal cords had been ripped apart by poison that had almost killed me  
  
He just looks at me.  
  
"Master," I called again.  
  
He continues to stare at me. I want him to come back to me. To hold my hand and tell me it's all right. I close my eyes in despair.  
  
"Please," I cried, my voice breaking.  
  
Another presence nearby is starting to get angry. Its Xanatos, but he won't interfere yet.  
  
Qui-gon just turned around and left. I could sense it when he did and I could hear his dying footsteps. Tears ran down my cheeks. Have I just lost my Master, my Father?  
  
Another hand grips mine, which is still reaching toward where Qui-gon had been. I open my eyes.  
  
"Xanatos, he turned because of me, hasn't he?" I asked softly.  
  
"Don't blame yourself, Obi-wan. Don't you dare blame yourself. Your Master is just to bantha headed to comprehend. It's a shock. He will come back, its not too late for him," Xanatos said.  
  
I know what is going through his mind, "Its not too late for you either. Help me," I whispered.  
  
"I will go talk to him, Obi-wan. But you need to rest," he said softly.  
  
I felt him send a Force suggestion to me and that was the last thing I felt as I drifted off into sleep. 


	7. Xanatos's POV

Xanatos's POV  
Part Seven  
  
I stormed from the Healer's ward to find Qui-gon outside.  
  
"What the Sith were you thinking?! You just stared at him! Isn't this the boy that you were running through the galaxy trying to avenge! Sith you! You might have destroyed him! He is too weak to take this!" I yelled.  
  
I got my anger back under control but it still surged in me.   
  
*Why are you throwing away a chance that I never got to redeem yourself?* I thought to myself.  
  
"How can I be sure," he said.  
  
"Sith, you saw him for yourself. You saw his pain for you. He blames himself," I said.  
  
"How can I be sure," he murmured again.  
  
"Qui-gon, I know I have been the worst creature ever put in this galaxy. I know that I had no compassion for feelings, emotions, or life itself. But I would never play with someone like this. That is really Obi-wan, the same boy you have loved and raised as a son. Turn away from the dark path you set out on and go back to him. You still have a chance," I said.  
  
"I can't," he said.  
  
"You won't if you keep thinking that," I said softly.  
  
"How did he get like that?" he asked.  
  
"The poison did most of the work. The torture did the rest," I said.  
  
"How did he lose his hand?" he asked.  
  
"We think they cut if from him to speed up his death. It was there with him when I found him, but they can't stitch it back on so they may try using a cybernetic hand. He would never know the difference," I said softly.  
  
"What else is wrong?" he asked.  
  
"I thought you didn't care, the way you were acting in there," I replied coldly.  
  
The next thing I knew was being shoved into the wall.  
  
"I do care about him, I love him for Force's sake as my own son!  
Now what is wrong with him?" he roared.  
  
I smiled thinly, my suspicions confirmed.  
  
"He may never be able to talk as well again. The poison nearly destroyed his vocal cords. His lungs were weakened but that may be taken care of over time. His face is healing perfectly and that should be fine. He had a saver infection that may affect his nerves for a while. But I think the Healers at the Temple will help his recovery, if you drop your foolish plans and go home," I said.  
  
"I can't let those monsters get away," he said.  
  
"Then I will take care of it. A few more deaths on my consciousness will not kill me, but they will destroy you," I said. 


	8. Qui-gon's POV

Thanks for the comments!  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Qui-gon's POV  
Part Eight  
  
I looked into his sapphire eyes. He was willing to do this for me, so I could find my way back to the light. But is that possible? Can I really allow those creatures to go on while my Padawan suffered? Was I willing to give my burden to Xanatos. He was right. My madness that came after Obi-wan's death has pushed me to that. I was finally starting to see what I have done. How could I ever hope for redemption? Despair and sorrow filled my soul.  
  
I let Xanatos go.  
  
"Go to him, he needs you," he said softly.  
  
I nodded silently and walked back into the Healer's ward. I paused outside Obi-wan's door. How could I face him? How could I ever again be willing to be his Master? He had faced death and torture and had not turned. I had faced death, torture, and the thought of him being dead and I had turned. He is much stronger then me, so much stronger then me. I was right when I said he would become a great Jedi Knight, much greater then myself. I braced myself and walked in.  
  
Obi-wan was sleeping on his bed. He looked so broken. His right hand was gone, his face was scared, and his throat had two scars running over it. He looked so young and venerable. My dear son, how could I have betrayed you? Pain and anger tore through my soul as I sat beside him on a chair by his bed. I took his small left hand, the same hand he had reached out to me only a few moments before. Had it been moments?  
It seemed like hours.  
  
His eyes fluttered open and looked at me. His eyes were the same blue/green that I remember. They were still bright and loving. How did I deserve this little wonder?  
  
"Master," he whispered.  
  
"I am here, Padawan, I am here," I said softly.  
  
"I am glad, Master," he said.  
  
"I am more then that, Obi-wan. I thought I had lost you. I wish I had never stopped looking for you," I said.  
  
"It was not your fault, Master. Never your fault. What about the dark side?" he murmured.  
  
"I turned because I lost you. I have not overcome it, but with your help and time, I will," I said softly, tears streaming down my checks.  
  
"We will help each other," he said and tears poured from his eyes.  
  
"Yes, we will," I whispered and drew him into an embrace. 


	9. Xanatos' POV

Xanatos's POV  
Part nine  
  
Qui-gon had returned from the Healers. He is planning to leave as soon as Obi-wan is ready. I had told him that he would be stable enough to travel within a few weeks at best. He only agreed. I can still sense his dark side. It is twisting in his grasp, but he will not let it go. Maybe the way back for him will be open, with Obi-wan's help, it will be open. But now we have to deal with more pressing matters.  
  
"Let me contact my fleet," Qui-gon said.  
  
"Why?" I asked.  
  
"Because I need to inform them of the change of plans. They will attack Coruscant in two days if I do not contact them," he said.  
  
"You always have a back up plan," I said.  
  
"And you always have a back door," he said.  
  
I sighed and led him to a comm station. He turned it on and signaled his fleet. The same officer that had seen us off was back.  
  
"Officer Doran, I want you to dissipate the fleet. Our mission has been dissolved," Qui-gon said.  
  
"But what about the murders, Master?" Doran asked.  
  
"Do not question me, Officer. I have taken care of the murders. Now dissolve the fleet and go home," Qui-gon growled, putting on his cold face.  
  
Doran shook slightly in fear, "I will do so immediately, Sir," he said and the link cut off.  
  
"Are you sure they will follow your orders?" I asked.  
  
"Yes, I made sure of that too," he said then walked away.  
  
I looked at his retreating back. Sometimes that man baffles even me. 


	10. Obiwan's POV

Sorry for the long wait. Here is the final chapter to Redemption. The sequel, A Free Angel, Even in the Depths of Despair, will be up tonight.  
  
Obi-wan's POV  
Part Ten  
  
Epilogue  
  
One month later...  
  
Things are going as smoothly as expected. I am recovering nicely, though this new hand still gives me the creeps. Master is attending to the meetings with the Soul Healers. My voice has not returned fully and there is little hope that it will. But right now I am more worried about Master. Even though he is conquering his dark side, he still wakes to nightmares and spends nights just staring out the balcony. I worry for him, but I feel that this is something that only time will heal. I am trying to help where I can. We will make it through, I know we will.   
  
Xanatos hasn't tried to contact us. I didn't think he would. Our attackers had turned up at the authorities, beaten but not dead. I know Xanatos had something to do with that. Maybe he is really on the path to redemption himself. I hope so. He never did tell me what had happened and neither would Qui-gon. Maybe that is for the best. I pity the attackers slightly. I know Master doesn't, but that is understandable. I pray to Force that everything will heal, but I have a feeling that things will soon come into a new focus, very soon. I just hope it won't try to destroy us again or separate us. I couldn't stand to be separated from Qui-gon again.   
  
I heard my Master calling me. I looked to the stars above and one more thought crossed my mind before I went inside from the balcony.  
  
"Good luck finding your way back to the light, Xanatos," I whispered then headed in, glad to be back with my Master, my loving Father. 


End file.
